A Continuous Battle (Revised)

“Have you been feeling sick recently? Had a sore throat, anything like that?” my doctor asks me, snapping me out of my daze. I’m sitting in a doctor’s office at the UC Davis Medical Center Cancer Center, a place I’m all too familiar with. I’m at a routine check-up appointment – or what was supposed to be routine, anyway. My doctor just pulled up images from the PET scan I had the week before. His eyes are darting back and forth between me and his computer. Uh oh.

“Um, I felt a little sick about a month ago…my throat felt a little weird…” I stammer. I examine my doctor’s face, for a sign, for a spark of emotion, for any hint of information.

“Here’s the thing,” he starts. “Your throat and the area around it are white on the scan. There’s no telling which it is just by looking at the scan, but, you either have an infection there or cancer.” I shudder as his words reach my ears. I feel a strong sense of déjà vu.

I’ve been in remission from cancer for 2 years and 5 months now. October 27, 2006, a little over a month after turning 18, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Nodular Sclerosing Hodgkin’s lymphoma. At once I was forced to undergo a countless number of procedures. A few days later on Halloween, I had surgery. In November, I had a CT scan, PET scan, brain MRI, bone marrow biopsy, and several blood tests. The first week of December, I started chemo. I went through chemo for six months, and after, went through a month of daily radiation.

It was, hands down, the most difficult year of my life. I remember how hard it was hearing the first time that I had cancer and how I cried the first time I noticed I was losing my hair. I hated giving myself painful shots in my thigh every other week, throwing up after chemo, and the monthly doctor appointments and PET scans I had every 3 months. That year was a whirlwind. Then, that spring, there was calm in the storm.


April 8, 2007, my pet scan was completely clean. I was announced in remission. Yes, I still had a month of chemo left to go, but I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Fast forward 2 years and 5 months later and here I am, still alive and thankful everyday for the new lease on life I was given. I have 2 and ½ more years to go before I am considered to be completely cured (5 years of remission altogether). To this day, every doctor’s appointment, every PET scan, and every blood draw is a nail-biting experience. I never know what to expect. My most recent PET scan is proof that I might still have something to fear.


This Friday, Sept. 25th, I’m having surgery to get my tonsils, adenoids, and some surrounding lymphatic tissue removed. My abnormally large tonsils (along with everything else removed) will then be biopsied.


If I’ve learned anything these past 3 years, it’s that cancer is an on-going battle that you have to keep fighting everyday of your life. Ever since I was diagnosed, cancer has been a dark cloud that has stayed in the back of my mind. The further along in remission I get, the smaller the cloud gets, but it never strays too far from my mind. Despite this dark cloud, I have learned to stay optimistic and to have faith, to wear a smile even when it’s hard. I look at this surgery as just another step throughout my long road of recovery. And when people tell me what a strong person I am, I tell them, well, it’s because I don’t have any other choice.

A Continuous Battle

“Have you been feeling sick recently? Had a sore throat, anything like that?” my doctor asks me, snapping me out of my daze. I’m sitting in a doctor’s office at the UC Davis Medical Center Cancer Center, a place I’m all too familiar with. I’m at a routine check-up appointment – or what was supposed to be routine, anyway. My doctor just pulled up images from the PET scan I had the week before. His eyes are darting back and forth between me and his computer. Uh oh.

“Um, I felt a little sick about a month ago…my throat felt a little weird…” I stammer. I examine my doctor’s face, for a sign, for a spark of emotion, for any hint of information.

“Here’s the thing,” he starts. “Your throat and the area around it are white on the scan. There’s no telling which it is just by looking at the scan, but, you either have an infection there or cancer.” I shudder as his words reach my ears. I feel a strong sense of déjà vu.

I’ve been in remission from cancer for 2 years and 5 months now. October 27, 2006, a little over a month after turning 18, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Nodular Sclerosing Hodgkin’s lymphoma. A few days later on the 31^st, I had surgery. In November, I underwent countless more procedures, including a CT scan, PET scan, brain MRI, bone marrow biopsy, and several blood tests. The first week of December, I started chemo. I had chemo for 6 months and after I finished, started radiation, which I had everyday for a month.

It was, hands down, the most difficult year of my life. From hearing the first time that I had cancer, to losing all my hair, to vomiting after chemo, to giving myself painful shots in my thigh every other week, to monthly doctor appointments and PET scans every 3 months, that year was a whirlwind. Then, that spring, there was calm in the storm.

April 8, 2007, my pet scan was completely clean. I was announced in remission. Yes, I still had a month of chemo left to go, but I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

2 years and 5 months later and here I am, still alive and thankful everyday for the new lease on life I was given. I have 2 and ½ more years to go before I am considered to be completely cured (5 years of remission altogether). To this day, every doctor’s appointment, every PET scan, and every blood draw is a nail-biting experience, as I never know what to expect. My most recent PET scan is proof that I might still have something to fear.

This Friday, Sept. 25^th, I’m having surgery to get my tonsils, adenoids, and some surrounding lymphatic tissue removed. My abnormally large tonsils (along with everything else removed) will then be biopsied.

If I’ve learned anything these past 3 years, it’s that cancer is an on-going battle that you have to keep fighting everyday of your life. Ever since I was diagnosed, cancer has been a dark cloud that has stayed in the back of my mind. The further along in remission I get, the smaller the cloud gets, but it never strays too far from my mind. Despite this dark cloud, I have learned to stay optimistic and to have faith, to wear a smile even when it’s hard. And when people tell me what a strong person I am, I tell them, well, it’s because I don’t have any other choice.

Kanye West Gone Too Far?

It’s that time of year again – the time of year when the media is abounded with celebrity gossip, drama, and news. Yep, it’s award show season. And while most award shows hold the promise and potential of juicy celebrity news, one award show really delivered this last week: The 2009 Video Music Awards. This year on the VMA’s, hundreds of thousands of viewers watched Kanye West openly rip on young teenage pop/country star Taylor Swift as she accepted her first award of the night.

The night started off with the presentation of the first award, the award for Best Female Video. The award went to Taylor Swift for her video “You Belong With Me.” Taylor ran onto stage to accept her award, beginning to enthusiastically thank everyone. All of a sudden, Kanye West stormed the stage, grabbing the microphone out of her hand. He muttered, “Hold on, I’ll let you finish,” and then continued on to yell “I'm sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.” The camera shot to Beyonce in the audience, who looked stunned, and then back to Taylor, who looked as if she had been slapped in the face The audience did not respond well to Kanye’s rant; in support of Taylor Swift, they all stood and gave her a standing ovation. A still speechless Taylor was then escorted off the stage.

People all over the country were shocked by Kanye West’s rant – thousands of Facebook users updated their statuses, voicing their disappointment and questioning the meaning behind his unbelievable actions. Some where amused, thinking that maybe he was just standing for the integrity of the music business and didn't believe that Taylor deserved her honor. However, this was not the first time Kanye pulled this sort of stunt. In fact, two years ago at the 2007 VMA’s in Las Vegas, he lost his temper when his performance was set in a hotel suite instead of the main stage. He also voiced his discontent at the American Music Awards in 2004 when he did not win Best New Artist, claiming that he was robbed.

So why does Kanye West continue to cause these scandals? The general consensus of his rant at this year VMA’s is that he wrongfully attacked Taylor Swift, but for what reason? The Best Female Video category has nothing to do with Kanye and his awards and nominations; also, Beyonce definitely didn’t appreciate the “extra help.” In fact, when Beyonce won her own award for her music video later in the evening, she called Taylor Swift back onto the stage so that she could have her moment, the moment in the spotlight that was rudely disrupted by Kanye earlier in the show.

It seems like Kanye West is trying to draw any kind of attention to himself, whether it be negative or positive. However, it’s doubtful that he thought the reaction to his rant would be as negative as it was. Many people have even begun to say that his actions have made them want to stop listening to his music and support him as an artist. Is his fan base about to start shrinking rapidly? One thing’s for sure -- Kanye’s brief moment in the VMA “spotlight” is now gone, and it’s time for him to face the coming ramifications of his actions. And by the way, congratulations Taylor Swift! You deserved it.